The obsession has taken over
I no longer have the control
I am standing at the gates of insanity
Outside looking in

Yet, I feel so alive
My heart is still singing
The lyrics do not matter
But the dysfunction seeps through

My thoughts are being demanded
My body feels possessed
I am destroying any chance of a beginning
Before the journey has begun

It commands my attention
It's one with my motion
All through the day - I cannot let go
I succumb to the power - consent is not needed

This feels like the compulsion
Of one more attempt - one more failure
Just like the drink
Became my demise in the end

Why can't I leave it be?
What drives me to this?
In spite of how great the necessity
Regardless of how strong I wish for it not to be

I pray to my Higher Power
"Take hold of this malady"
"Let it be an illusion"
Help me and be with me to the end

Why is it so baffling?
And such a big secret
That my instincts are unrefined
It's written in my soul

I have traveled this road
Repeatedly I tell you with shame
Why am I so surprised?
That no end is in sight

A spiritual awakening is desirable

But I thought this was it...?
They tell me to pray and the pain is so great
Relief takes it time - very gradually but definitely indeed
Please God let it stay